Howdy! Welcome to Aggieland. It's good to see you made it here using my directions. Most athletes we recruit cannot read and thus, need a personal driver to get to campus. Speaking of campus, how do you like our little piece of paradise? We like to call the architecture style here "Modern Concrete."
I know that living here in College Station could possibly be a little culture shock from where you are from inner city Houston, but rest assured that you will find many folks like yourself here.
(Recruit unknowingly steps one foot onto the grass)
For God's sake get off the grass!!!!!!!!! Sorry to yell at you like that but it was for your own protection. The grass here is a memorial but even for people new to campus, there can be consequences. "They" might show up. Texas A&M is not a military school. However, we do give preferential admissions treatment and scholarships to those in the Corps. And let them register for classes before everyone else. And give them priority seating at the games....Nevermind. All you need to know about them is they will always be behind you at the games.
I mean, when it's 4th and Goal at the 1 yard line, you'll be amazed how inspired you get when you look over and see a couple hundred guys with shaved heads practicing genital mutilation on themselves.
(Listeater walks by, recruit recoils at the sight)
I see you've noticed some of the talent we have here on campus. Good pull. Statistically speaking, there's 2 guys for every girl here. There are a couple of advantages to this. One, it lets you hang out with your bro's more. Second, Aggies like to do everything together so it's totally win-win.
That's the campus tour. I hope you liked it. Let's walk over to the student guidance office and discuss your major of agrilcultural management.
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